Am I depressed or just curious about death?

Hello, I'm 17 years old. I've been having suicide thoughts for some reason and I THINK I'm not depress or suffering from depression. I think that its the curiosity that's bugging me a lot. I've been having suicide thoughts like laying on the street, hanging myself, suffocate myself with a plastic bag, provoking gang members to kill me. But lately I actually tried to hang myself. Like I used my tie to wrap it around my movie projector and stepping on a chair and tried to jump off but I couldn't because I'm afraid of dying and death. I take one step off and see how much pressure is exerted on my neck but then I put my feet back on the chair, take the tie off and threw it into a corner. I think to myself, "WHY IS THIS SO WRONG!?" And I also have thoughts like I reconsider not jumping off but then I slipped off then "accidently killed myself", as well as putting a plastic bag over my head to see what will happen, only in the end I'll rip the bag off and tear it into bits. I keep looking up for answers on why I keep thinking these thoughts. I don't know if I'm depress or curious or masochistic. A day after that happened I went around my house to find suitible hangins and found one in my bathroom then I tried again but once again I stopped short. I'm pretty sure I have Suicidal Ideation (thoughts of ways to die without actually attempting it) and MAYBE Parasuicide (Attempts to suicide but purposefully made to fail or caught) Please help me I don't know whether or not I'm Depress, Curious, or masochistic. Please answer this, I repeatedly think about my family and my friends. I understand how much effort and pain my mom is going through to raise me so I can attend college but at the same time, I got caught having a 3.0 GPA and my brother yelled and yelled at me for being so stupid and I began to cry as well at the same time thought "maybe its better if I just don't exist" I might be depressed I don't know to tell you the truth. Two months ago I experience the same thing but i never actually attempted, and it left my mind until my brother yelled at me. I'm getting pressured into getting good grades and I want to, I really do. Football took most of my time out of studying as well as my procrastination. Now that summer came, I have nothing else to do, so my mind wanders to thoughts like suicide and provoking people, I'm trying to get out of my house I really am, I can't wait till school starts so my mind can be focus on academic subjects and building/reinforcing friendships. please help me. just now I told my mom and grandpa that I want to donate blood. I donated before, but that was when I went under my mom's watchful gaze and donated blood for American Red Cross at school in April. When I donated blood, it made me feel like I still have a reason to live, to help people. I felt more human than I ever did that day, but now I feel like I'm nothing more than someone who feeds off my mom's love and money. I want my mom and grandpa to acknowledge the fact that I want to donate blood to save people. I can remain happy and confident for some time but the suicide thoughts sometimes sink back in and I become somewhat unhappy. I look up ways to die, but I'm like, "screw this I shouldn't be looking up these ways" Because I overthink them and I think something is really wrong with my Brain Chemistry, I don't know why. Also, I quited football two weeks ago and that left me practically nothing to do at all. A week later after I quitted football, I hanged out with 3 other people who also quitted football and I ask them, "why did you guys quitted football for?" They quitted because they didnt wanted to play the sport anymore. I quitted because I wanted good grades and football takes the time and energy out of my studying. I told my best friend who also quitted that I have sucidal ideation and told him whats my reason, and he told me that its because I still love football and I should rejoin. After that day, I feel rejuvinated because I think the reason why I keep having these thoughts BECAUSE I QUITED Football but I'm not sure. I'm going to rejoin football in three days. BUT SHOULD I STILL TELL MY DOCTOR OR ANYONE ELSE THAT CAN HELP ME?